An Evening Meal

Pizza Ice Cream?

2011-10-20T01:00:00.000-10:00

Pizza baked in an ice cream cone....

I want one!

Only at Kono Pizza in Japan.

Sigh

Giant Sushi

2011-10-14T03:00:00.000-10:00

Check out the size of this Sushi Roll

Called the "Generous Roll", it contains twenty-four (24) scrumptious ingredients and weighs a fish-busting thirteen-pounds (13 lbs. or 6 kg.)!!

Assembled on a bed of nori, seaweed wrapper, over six-feet (6' or 2 m.) long and rolled to nearly ten-inches (10 in. or 25 cm.) in diameter, this delight actually exists on the regular menu at the Umewaka Restaurant in Aichi Prefecture, Japan. Costing about ¥15,000 or $195 USD, this seems kind of reasonable, considering that's about how much four people can spend on good sushi here in New York City, event hough you must order it two days in advance.

Check out how they make it :

As large as The Generous Roll may be, it's not the worlds biggest.

At over a foot thick, that's some roll.

Pass the Wasabe.....

Eggs!

2011-10-11T01:00:00.000-10:00

On World Egg Day,

it's only fitting that we travel to the annual World Egg Throwing Championships held in Swaton, England this past summer.

According to the World Egg Throwing Federation, yes, that really eggs-ists, egg throwing is a local tradition inspired by historic events that occurred in the 14th century. It’s believed that in 1322, the newly appointed Abbot who was assigned to the Parish of Swaton, found a rather ingenious way of increasing church attendance. As the only person in the settlement to own chickens, he provided one egg for each attendee to his sermons. But, when the waters of the River Eau flooded, cutting off the church from the village, monks began tossing the eggs to the waiting locals who were stranded across the flooded river. Legend has it that, when the river became too wide to toss the eggs, the monks used small trebuchets (a form of catapult) to get the eggs across the river!

Established in 2004, the World Egg Throwing Federation regulates competitions all over the globe involving egg smashing and egg throwing, culminating in the organization of the World Egg Throwing Championships. Each year, contestants from all over the world arrive in Swanton to take part in such extreme challenges as the Russian Egg Roulette, the Egg-Static Relay, or, the traditional, Egg Trebuchet.

Feelin' lucky, Punk?

So, I guess we'd better get training for next year's eggs-itement!

Bacon Font?

2011-10-07T01:00:00.000-10:00

Henry Hargreaves made a font out of bacon!

No, it’s not just a bacon font, each individual letter was constructed out of real bacon!

For the rest of the alphabet, check out Henry Hargreaves.

Why We're Fat Volume 15

2011-10-05T01:00:00.000-10:00

We all know that the ginormo-fast-food conglomerates main goal is to get as much of the planet obese and addicted to their "gastronomic" creations as possible.

Feelin' Lucky??

Most of this onslaught began in America with such colon-busting extremes as the KFC Double Down®, however, the rest of the planet is equally at risk.

Check out some of these fast-food items offered around the world :

The Burger King "Meat Monster" available in Japan
It features two full-sized Whopper® patties, a chicken patty, extra cheese, and bacon strips.

The McDonald's Triple Bratwurst Sandwich available in Germany
That's some serious Valkyrie sausage.

The Burger King Nacho Burger available in The Netherlands
Two great tastes that go great together.

The McDonald's Fried French Cheese Nuggets available in France
Nothing says "Mon amour, Cheri" like deep fried Camembert.

MORE, after the jump...

For some reason, the Fast Food Conglomerates seemingly have singled out Japan to showcase some of their most extraordinary culinary creations, heart attack medications sold separately.

All of these mouth-watering nightmares are available only in Japan.

The Pizza Hut Bacon-Wrapped Sausage Crust Mini-Hamburger Pizza
"Pigs-in-a-blanket" and Pizza, nothing better.

The McDonald's Bacon Potato Pie
This actually doesn't sound so bad, I make a homemade version HERE.

The McDonald's Breakfast Mega-Muffin
Who need Wheaties®!

The Mcdonald's Cheese Fondue Sandwich
Life is always better with cheese.

The Burger King Windows 7 Stack Whopper
What would Bill Gates say? "Super-size it"????

The Wendy's Spicy Chili Double-Cheeseburger

The bacon is extra.

The Pizza Hut Mini-Corn Dog Crust Pizza

Can't get much more "state fair" than this.

Don't the Japanese have enough to worry about besides coronary heart disease???

Spices

2011-10-03T01:00:00.000-10:00

I spend a lot of time here venting about "Why We're Fat", the miserable state of things around the world, and all sorts of stuff that's bad for you, that I often forget about many of the good things out there.

So, today,

Everyone needs some spice in their lives!

Aside from livening up leftovers and frozen dinners, herbs and spices have all sorts of other good things going for them aside from just being tasty.

Chili Peppers

All types of Chili Peppers, including the humble Bell Pepper (yes, they actually are chilis) contain Capsacin. Capsacin is the ingredient that gives the peppers their taste and their sometimes lethal heat. Capsaicin has many medicinal benefits including pain relief, heart health, fighting prostate cancer, and stopping ulcers. So, choose the hottest peppers that you can find and max-out your Capsacin!

Cinnamon

If you don't already love Cinnamon in Pumpkin Pie, Cinnamon Rolls, Raisin Bread, or Cinnamon Toast, there are other ways to maximize the health benefits of Cinnamon. Add it to your Coffee, sprinkle it on Oatmeal, stir it into Peanut Butter to munch on with Celery sticks, add a dash on Sweet Potatoes or Carrots, etc. While Cinnamon brings out, and warms up, the flavors in the foods it is paired with, it also keeps your arteries healthy, manages your blood sugar levels, and can lower your cholesterol. Nifty, hunh?

Turmeric

Just because it's colorful, doesn't mean that's all there is to it. Turmeric comes from the same family of spices as Ginger, and that means both Turmeric and Ginger can reduce inflammation in arthritis patients and may possibly block the formation of some cancers. Our Indian friends have known this for centuries, so, have some Curry Chicken today and then add a few grinds of Black Pepper, since Black Pepper is believed to help the body absorb Turmeric for maximum effect.

Parsley

The simple sprig of Parsley. Easily forgotten, discarded, or ignored, despite the fact that it's a potent all natural breath freshener. Parsley has been regarded since Roman times as one of the healthiest herbs in existence. Many people believe that consuming Parsley helps in passing kidney stones, battling deafness, and preventing arterial buildup. So, don't throw out that garnish!

Oregano

Another "herby" gold mine. When you shake extra Oregano onto your slice at the local pizza shop you aren't just adding some "Italian" flavor to your pepperoni-and-mushroom. Oregano is a major source of Thymol and Carvacol, two major antibacterial agents that fight off infection. Oregano also has quadruple the amount of antioxidants over that other heavy hitter, Blueberries. Either fresh or dried, you really can't go wrong with adding some Oregano to your life.

Garlic

Love it or hate it, you can't deny that Garlic is good for you, despite no scientific evidence to prove otherwise. A staple of many natural remedies and traditional medicines, Garlic has anti-fungal, antibacterial, and antiviral properties. Some studies have shown that Garlic can actually stop blood clots from forming in your arteries. Why argue?

Thyme

Thyme, a major ingredient in virtually all "comfort foods", think stew on a cold wintry night, y'all. However, it's health benefits go beyond merely flavoring warm soups on cold evenings; the natural oils contained in Thyme leaves have antiseptic and antibacterial properties. Thymol, the active ingredient, is the principal ingredient in Listerine. Recent studies have shown that Thyme can kill MRSA infections, which are resistant to other antibiotics.

This is only a small sample. Maybe I'll make this a regular feature.

What do you think?

Vegetarian Day

2011-10-01T01:00:00.000-10:00

Well, today is World Vegetarian Day

and a good start to World Vegetarian Awareness Month, October, y'all.

Many people have complained to me that many of my recipes aren't entirely vegetarian or even vegetarian friendly.

I disagree.

ICK!

Despite the fact that I think that vegetarians out there are simply missing out, here's a dish that goes both ways, get your mind out of the gutter, pervert!

Sautéed Spinach

As boring as it sounds, this frighteningly simple dish requires attention and finesse. It’s really all about technique. Do not be fooled, the flavour and texture of this are sublime.

EQUIPMENT

A Large Heavy Bottomed Sauté Pan

Heavy Tongs

A Wooden Spoon

A Coffee Mug

A Table Spoon
A Large Serving Bowl
A Large Dinner Plate

INGREDIENTS

Three (3) bags of Fresh Baby Spinach

These days, fresh spinach is readily available, pre-washed, in bags, at the supermarket. This is a huge time saver and the quality is great. There is no need to rinse it, simply tear open the bag and use.

However, if you are fortunate enough to have a greenmarket nearby, please hunt up the locally grown spinach and pick up about five (5) lbs. (2.2 kg.) of the stuff. Yes, I know, it seems like a lot, but it will cook down dramatically. The local stuff will be very sandy and will need to be thoroughly cleaned. So, fill the kitchen sink with cold water and soak the locally grown spinach for about ten (10) minutes and let the sand fall to the bottom of the sink. Pull the spinach out and drain the sink. Clean and refill the sink with fresh cold water and soak the spinach again. It may take a few soakings to remove all of the grit. Simply taste one of the leaves to check for sand. Honestly, it wont hurt you. Most organic locally grown spinach comes with the roots attached, which gives it added flavour and shelf life. After all of the bunches of spinach are fully cleaned, simply chop off the roots and the tough stems with a kitchen knife and you’re ready to go.

Now, Frozen Spinach is a great option as well. Simply thaw and break up the block of Frozen Spinach into pieces and turn it out into a bowl in preparation for the sauté. See the VARIATIONS section below for specific instructions. Don’t want to overcook ‘em now, do we?

Four (4) Cloves of Garlic

Or more if you like; who doesn't like garlic???

Olive Oyl

Xtra Virgin, like your sister.

Kosher Salt
Freshly Ground Black Pepper
Some Veal Broth (OPTIONAL)

Before you vegetarians get your knickers in a twist, this is VERY OPTIONAL. I just like Veal Stock; since this is my recipe, I can do what I want!

Some Music to Sauté By

TECHNIQUE

Turn on the Music and take a deep breath. Slowly let it out, this will be fun.

Mince the four (4) cloves of Garlic and place them into the Coffee Mug. Add one quarter (1/4) cup of Olive Oyl, or just enough to cover the Garlic.

Now, all of the next steps occur very quickly, so make sure that all of the children are safely locked up underneath the stairs so there are no interruptions, muzzles work too.

Heat the Large Skillet over medium high heat until sizzling, about three (3) minutes.

Add one (1) tablespoon of the Garlic and Olive Oyl mixture and sauté for ten (10) seconds before adding a ginormous handful of the bagged or clean Spinach.

Quickly add a pinch of Kosher Salt and a grind of Black Pepper.

Now, this is OPTIONAL. I like throwing a tablespoon of Veal Stock into the pan at this time for an added depth of flavour. Your vegan friends will wonder why the spinach tastes so good if you do this step. Don’t tell them what you used, trade secret. Honestly, it’s not necessary, though

Otherwise, add about one (1) tablespoon of water.

Using the Heavy Tongs, rotate the spinach in the pan constantly until it just collapses and wilts, about a minute to a minute and a half.

Turn out into a serving bowl using the Wooden Spoon.

Repeat all of the steps (Garlic and Oyl mixture, Spinach, Salt, Pepper, splash of Broth or Water), handful by handful, with the remaining Spinach until through.

Cover the bowl with a dinner plate and set aside on the counter, cling film begone. The Spinach will continue to steam in the covered bowl and create it’s own yummy sauce.

Let the Spinach cool to room temperature. You can either eat it later in the day or place it in the fridge for tomorrow.

Now, you can release the children from lockup and have them wash the pan and the stove top. Hey, child labour is useful after all.

SERVICE

The Spinach will keep in the fridge for about a week and can be paired and used with a bazillion things beyond a simple side dish. Cous Cous, Pastina, Orzo, 'Taters, Turnips, Parsnips, Carrots, Omeletes, Beets, Meats, Chix, Fish, should I keep going??

Personally, one of my favorite ways to serve this is as an appetizer, spread on top of toasted Tuscan bread with some Buffalo Mozzarella or some shaved Pecorino or Manchego, but I leave that up to you.

VARIATIONS

If you cannot find any fresh Spinach and are using Frozen Spinach for all of this, start your sautee pan on medium-low heat. Begin with the Garlic and Olive Oyl mixture and it let just warm through enough to infuse the Oyl with garlicky happiness, about a minute and a half to two (2) minutes. The garlic should barely become translucent and only slightly sizzle in the pan. Add the thawed frozen spinach that has been broken apart and turn to coat with the garlic infused Oyl using the Heavy Tongs. Sauté for about two (2) to three (3) minutes until just warmed through. Add a grind of black pepper and serve immediately.

Enough of this vegetarian-ism, forget the Olive Oyl, use Bacon Fat. Sorry vegitarians, I know it's your day, but c'mon, don't you like the smell of sautéing bacon?? Now, I like Apple Wood Slab Bacon, but your personal favorite kind is what to use.

Sauté four (4) or five (5) slices of bacon on medium high heat in the Sauté Pan until your desired crispiness and the fat has rendered out of the bacon and into the pan. Remove the bacon to a plate covered with a paper towel to drain. Pour all of the bacon fat into the Coffee Mug. Mince the garlic and leave it on the cutting board. Return the skillet with the bacon drippings, i.e. the crusty bits stuck to the bottom of the pan, to the burner. Add one (1) teaspoon of the minced garlic from the cutting board to the hot pan. Saute for ten (10) seconds and add a big wad of spinach and one (1) tablespoon of water. Using the Heavy Tongs rotate the spinach until it just collapses and wilts, about a minute. Remove the spinach to a serving bowl. Repeat, in batches, with the remaining bunches of spinach adding a tablespoon of the bacon fat and a teaspoon of the raw minced garlic from the cutting board before adding the spinach, no water needed. Continue sautéing until done with all of the spinach. Give the finished product a grind of Black Pepper and a toss with the Heavy Tongs. Cover the bowl with a dinner plate and let cool. There’s no need to add any salt, the bacony bacons are salty enough.

To serve, simply grab a big tong full of spinach and place in a mound on one side of a dinner plate. Place one (1) of the slabs of crispity bacon on top; a nice side dish.

For a Bacon Fat variation with Frozen Spinach, pour out half of the bacon fat, so that you have about two tablespoons left in the pan, and drop the heat to low, there will be more than enough residual heat to compensate. Add the garlic, and stir for ten (10) seconds. After ten (10) seconds, add the broken up blocks of thawed Frozen Spinach, a grind of black pepper, and give everything a stir until all is warmed through and just slightly crispy, about five (5) minutes. For service, place a nice mound of the greens onto a dinner plate with a crispy strip of bacon on top and serve with some roasty meats.

There you go.

©2011 L. M. Sorré, Wait At The Bar

Cheese??

2011-09-30T01:00:00.000-10:00

So, what the F*#% is "Cheese Food"??

Moreover what the hell is "Processed Cheese Food"???

I mean, I know what Cheese is and where it comes from, but why all of the confusion?

The Cheese confounds.....

According to the USDA, these "descriptions" define how much actual Cheese is in every product.

Something that is labeled "Natural Cheese" is just that, natural. Natural cheese refers to its variety, i.e. "Cheddar Cheese", "Swiss Cheese", or "Blue Cheese". These natural cheeses contain 100% real cheese, you know, curds, whey, natural enzymes, stuff like that. So far, so good.

Here's where things begin to get tricky. "Pasteurized Process Cheese" is a blend of fresh and aged natural cheeses that have been shredded and mixed (processed), then heated (pasteurized), after which no further ripening occurs. This blending of pasteurized processed cheese is not necessarily a scary thing; it just means that one or more varieties of natural cheese were used in the "process". For example, “pasteurized process American cheese” or “pasteurized process Swiss and American cheese.”

Thus far, nothing weird; but what is Cheese Food?

Say, what??!?

Cheese Food contains only 51% real cheese, any lower than that and they couldn't call it cheese at all!

Cheese Food contains a host of other things that are not cheese like non-fat dry milk, whey solids (whatever those are), and lots of water. After pasteurization, processing, and some mumbo jumbo, you wind up with “Pasteurized Process Cheese Food".

Cheese Food, quite obviously, has a much milder flavor and softer texture than Natural Cheese. It spreads more easily and melts more quickly than process cheese. The most popular variety is pasteurized process American cheese food, which is packaged in slices, rolls, links and loaves.

EZ_Cheezy!

Now, cheese spreads have a different composition from cheese foods and are labeled as “pasteurized process cheese spread.” All of the ingredients used in the preparation of these products are listed on the respective labels along with the kinds or varieties of cheese used in the mixture.

Oh, Yeah!!

For more than you ever wanted to know, go HERE.

The Coffee Mug

2011-09-29T01:00:00.000-10:00

Everybody has one somewhere.

Whether it contains crayons and pencils showcasing some insipid morale-boosting-epigram logo-ed on the side, like “Hang In There”, or is shaped like some free form blob of stippled ceramic nightmare that your seven-year-old made in his third grade art class, the coffee mug holds a dear place in many people’s hearts, and not only to drink tasty beverages from.

"Coffee Mugs are 'Winning'!!!!"

Many people use them to hold odds and ends around the house. For example, to hold used tooth brushes, a dull safety razor, and a Breelcreme caked pocket comb that resides in the back bathroom’s rusty medicine cabinet, or to hold the legion of Chinese condiment packets and chopsticks that you have accumulated over many months of greasy takeout, and, most importantly, to hold every plastic spork that has ever been manufactured on the planet.

However, with this kind of versatility, there is one use that is often neglected and overlooked; the coffee mug’s uses in the kitchen.

Okay, you’re saying, “Oh, please. C’mon, ‘the kitchen’ that’s the big revelation. I use a coffee mug every morning and even in the afternoon, I guess that puts me ahead of the curve, what gives?”

Have you ever actually looked at a coffee mug?

You know, the basic heavy, white, slightly cracked diner variety.

Why is it made like this?

Why is it so uniform in size?

Why is it so heavy?

Why can it take all this heat and abuse?

All of these questions are why the coffee mug should hold a strong place in the home and, for that matter, professional chef’s and anyone who cooks by feel, arsenal of kitchen gadgets.

It’s also cheap and easy to find, too.

A good solid Coffee Mug can be used for measuring ingredients, holding ingredients, mixing ingredients, and, due to it’s wondrous thermal properties, even baking ingredients. From sauces, to dressings, to holding that decadently flavorful bacon fat from last Sunday’s hangover breakfast, this is why the lowly coffee mug is a required, necessary, and comforting device for any kitchen.

Behold:

Coffee Mug Popovers
Scallion and Parmigiano Flavor

Who doesn’t like a popover. They “pop”, they go “over”, they’re doughy, they can be sweet, they can be savory, and they can be very messy.

This is one of the many reasons that the indestructible Coffee Mug is an ideal vessel for the complicated things.

Everyone gets their own individual mug of popover to eat and then cleanup!

FULL Recipe after the JUMP

INGREDIENTS

Three (3) tablespoons plus 1/2 cup (1 stick) Sweet Crême Butter, melted
2/3 cup plus 1/2 cup finely grated Parmigiano or Pecorino Romano Cheese
Eight (8) large Eggs, at room temperature
2 2/3 cups Whole Milk, at room temperature
Three (3) large Scallions or Green Onions, finely chopped
One (1) clove fresh Garlic, minced
Two (2) and 2/3 cups All-Purpose (AP) Flour
One (1) teaspoon Kosher Salt
One (1) teaspoon dried Rosemary, Thyme, or Herbes de Provence (OPTIONAL)

TECHNIQUE

Preheat oven to 375°F (190°C) and move the rack to the middle.

In a small saucepan. melt, but do not brown, the Butter.

Brush the insides of six (6) Coffee Mugs with about three (3) tablespoons of melted butter and then dust the insides of each mug with about 2/3 cup of the finely grated Parmigiano Cheese. For those of you without Coffee Mugs, first off, shame, shame, shame, secondly, use a large (1/2 cup) non-stick muffin pan and be prepared to be sneered at.

In a large mixing bowl, beat the Eggs, Milk, Green Onions, Garlic, and the remaing 1/2 cup of melted Butter.

This is completely OPTIONAL, if you are feeling "herby", add a teaspoon of your favorite dried herb, like Thyme or crushed Rosemary, to the egg mixture. This adds an even more savory component to an already tasty popover, see the VARIATIONS section below for some other ideas.

In a separate bowl, mix together the Flour, Salt, and remaining 1/2 cup of Parmigiano Cheese.

Gradually whisk the flour mixture into the eggs, a bit at a time, until a smooth batter forms.

Divide the batter among the prepared Coffee Mugs or muffin pan (grumble...).

Place each filled Coffee Mug onto a baking sheet and place into the oven. Bake for about forty-five (45) to fifty (50) minutes until they are puffed up and crusty brown on top.

IMPORTANT TECHNIQUE NOTE : While these are baking, DO NOT open the oven door and "sneak-a-peek" at them. This is the first mistake that all popover makers make. Popovers like heat, and, more specifically, like constant heat. Opening the oven door even a crack can drop the temperature of the oven by five (5) to ten (10) degrees which keeps the popovers from rising and popping over, which is what we all want. So, trust your oven and wait it out.

SERVICE

I like to serve each one of these individually in their own Coffee Mug with a sprinkle of extra Cheese and some shaved Scallion on top; just warn people that the mugs are very hot!! These can also be turned out of the Coffee Mugs after they have cooled somewhat and placed in a basket lined with a clean dish towel and passed around "family style." Personally, I like serve them in the mug and cut the top off and place a pat of butter underneath then sprinkle with some extra cheese and Scallion, but that's up to you.

VARIATIONS

As I mentioned above, the addition of your favorite dried herbs is a great option for these popovers. If you would like these spicy, substitute two Jalapeño Peppers for the Scallions and add some ground Cumin to the batter for a South West flair, add some Madras Curry Powder and some Shallots instead of Scallions for an Indian approach, or you can simply just use a different type of cheese, like aged Gruyere or smoked Manchego.

Beer Day

2011-09-28T01:00:00.000-10:00

It's National Drink Beer Day!

Do I need to explain further????

RIP, Arch West

2011-09-27T04:44:00.000-10:00

Arch West, of Dallas, Texas, is credited with creating the iconic snack chip Doritos® after a family trip to San Diego in 1961.

Arch West, 1914 - 2011

According to West's daughter, Jana Hacker of Allen, Texas, her father was a Frito-Lay marketing executive when he pitched the idea for Doritos® after seeing fried tortilla chips in San Diego.

Hacker said the pitch received only a lukewarm response, but that market research supporting West's hunch eventually put the chips on store shelves.

West died last Tuesday at Presbyterian Hospital in Dallas. He was 97.

Doritos® are to be sprinkled over the grave of their creator during a graveside service later this week.

Obituary courtesy NBC

Chocolate Milk...

2011-09-27T01:00:00.000-10:00

For National Chocolate Milk Day,

I turn to some fond childhood memories.

For many of us, Nestlé's Quik® was a staple. It went beyond mere chocolate milk, milkshakes, or hot cocoa. We would sprinkle Nestlé's Quik® over plain Vanilla ice cream and sliced bananas to make a low rent sundae. Sometimes, we would make a paste out of it with a little water and use it as a spread for toast, who needs Nutella®! But, other times, it was needed for a Mocha.

Mocha Chocolate Milk

Oddly enough, this recipe appeared on the back of the Nestlé's Quick® container. If only Starbuck's knew that Nestlé had cornered the market in creating hyper-caffeinated sugar fueled children's beverages before they even existed.

INGREDIENTS

Nsetlé's Quick® Chocolate Flavor

Instant Coffee

Whole Milk

TECHNIQUE

In a pint glass, fill about a third of the way with Whole Milk. Add a teaspoon of Instant Coffee and stir until the Coffee has dissolved.

Fill the pint glass with some more Whole milk and add a teaspoon of Nestlé's Quik. Dtir well. Top off the glass with more Whole Milk. Sprinkle, but do not stir, with another teaspoon of Nestlé's Quik®. Let the Nestlé's Quik® slowly precipitate down the inside of the glass until it settles on the bottom.

Serve with a straw.

VARIATIONS

Instant Hazelnut flavored coffee, anyone?? Also, this can be served either hot or cold; with or whithout whipped cream; with or without chocolate sprinkles; etc.

How now brown cow....

Pancake Update!

2011-09-26T04:59:00.000-10:00

Pancake throw pillows!!!

You can get yours at Unica Home.

Pancakes

2011-09-26T01:00:00.000-10:00

It seems like only yesterday that we celebrated National Pancake Week.....

Mmmmmmmmm....

Today we have National Pancake Day!!

As wonderful and fabulously scrumptious that pancakes may be, they do become tiresome after the first few dozen.

So, what else can you make with pancake mix besides more pancakes??

"F*@#$#% pancakes again......@#$%"

Well, good ole Betty Crocker® has got you coverd!!

Gran'ma knew!

Bisquick® is not for mere pancakes alone. Running the gamut from Sausage Balls and Spicy Spanish Rice to Peanut-Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies, Bisquick® does it all.

As miraculous as Bisquick® may be, however, it can actually be quite expensive.

So, let's make some ourselves and put the General Mills Corporation out of business!!

Homemade "Bisquick®" Mix

INGREDIENTS

Six (6) cups of All-Purpose (AP) Flour, sifted
Three (3) tablespoons Baking Powder
One (1) tablespoon Salt
1/2 cup cold Sweet Creme Butter, cut into pats

TECHNIQUE
Measure the sifted Flour, Baking Powder, and Salt into a large bowl. Using a wire whisk, blend thoroughly.

Using a pastry cutter, cut in the cold Butter thoroughly until a fine meal is formed.

Store refrigerated in an airtight container for up to four (4) months.

Use as you would regular Bisquick®!

Can you believe it?? That's really all there is to it.

"I'm not tired of pancakes..."

Hot Tip!

2011-09-25T01:00:00.000-10:00

On National Food Service Employees Day,

I only have one thing to say.....

TIP YOUR BARTENDERS!

Don't forget your Waitresses either!!!

$16 Muffin...

2011-09-24T01:00:00.001-10:00

Recently the United States Department of Justice has been vilified for apparently paying $16 (€11.90) apiece for muffins for a staff breakfast. Admittedly this $16 includes such vagueries as service charges, gratuities, and other hotel catering markups, but, c'mon, how can flour, sugar, eggs, milk, and butter add up to $16 bucks???

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) says, "The muffins were THIS big."

Well, Mary Cadogan, of BBC Good Food and Olive magazines, came up with a recipe for muffins that cost about $1.90 apiece, or €1.41.

She sweetens her very expensive muffins with Manuka honey from New Zealand, billed as "the world's most expensive". She also uses Extra Virgin Sunflower Oil at $6.14 a cup or €4.57 for 250 ml. Along with the finest flour, eggs and milk, this forms the batter, into which she carefully folds dark Chocolate, dried Blueberries, and Macadamia nuts, $7.58 for 4.4 oz. (€5.63 for 125 g.). She then spices the mixture with Tonka beans, the fragrant seeds of a a South American tree.

At about $1.90 apiece, or €1.41, this doesn't even come close to the nirvana that must be the $16 Muffin.

Senator Chuck Grassley (R-IA) thinks, "We need more Muffin funding..."

Food writer Stefan Gates suggested using a precious metal as decoration to up the cost and overall albedo of the muffin. "You could cover it in pure 24-carat edible gold leaf, although even that only costs $1.15 (€0.86) per sheet, and you'd only need one to cover it.", Gates said.

This method would bring the total production cost up to $3.05 apiece (€2.27), still not enough.

Enter British baking expert Dan Lepard.

Dan Lepard says, "This is only for the Muffin elite."

He suggests using soft imported Italian 00 flour to give the crumb extra-fine texture and AOC French unsalted butter from Echire or D'Isigny; "very expensive but with a rich, slightly nutty flavour", said Lepard. The eggs should come from British heritage flocks. "Don't go for brown or white eggs", Lepard explained, "go for blue hen's eggs as they're much pricier although the taste is no different." Also, Organic California Blueberries which are nearly "impossible to get here in the UK, but the return flight will make those muffins even more exclusive." Lepard concluded that one could "gild it further with chunks of Amadei or Valrhona chocolate stirred into the mix, and brush the top with gold leaf stirred through sugar syrup to finish."

I suppose, while we're at it, we could use Wild Strawberries flown in from Switzerland at $3.43 a pound, €6.87 a kilo, or make a coffee flavored muffin using Kopi Luwak, the coffee beans that have gone through the GI tract of a Civet Cat (I'm not making that up), at $25 an ounce, €18 for 25 g.

Where's my Muffin?

But, when all is said and done, what you're really paying for is the packagaing, the shipping, the marketing, and the staff to get the muffin to the plate.

Sigh.

Mary Cadogan's

Luxury Muffins

INGREDIENTS

3/4 cup (175 g.) Organic Self-Raising Flour, $0.28 or €0.21
1/4 cup (50 g.) Organic Oats, $0.15 or €0.11
1/2 cup (100 g.) light Muscovado Sugar, $0.35 or €0.26
One (1) teaspoon freshly grated Tonka Beans, $1.40 or €1.04
1/2 teaspoon Bicarbonate of Soda, $0.08 or €0.06
One (1) Free Range Chicken Egg, beaten, $0.38 or €0.29
Two (2) tablespoons Manuka Honey, $1.39 or €1.03
2/3 cup (150 ml.) Buttermilk, $0.45 or €0.33
One (1) teaspoon Vanilla Bean Paste, $0.48 or €0.36
Six (6) tablespoons Extra Virgin Sunflower Oil, $2.23 or €1.66
1/2 cup (100 g.) Macadamia Nuts, chopped, $6.05 or €4.51
1/2 cup (100 g.) dried Blueberries, $5.07 or €3.77
1/4 cup (50 g.) Dark Chocolate or Chocolate Chips, $4.68 or €3.48

TOTAL (12 muffins) : $22.80 (€12)

EACH MUFFIN : $1.90 (€1.41)

TECHNIQUE
In a large bowl, thoroughly sift together the Flour, Bicarbonate of Soda, and grated Tonka Beans.

In a second bowl, add the Sunflower Oil, Egg, Sugar, Honey, Vanilla Bean Paste, and Buttermilk. Stir very thoroughly until all of the Sugar has dissolved.

Slowly sift in the Flour mixture until a smooth batter is formed. Sprinkle in the Oats and gently stir to combine.

Fold in the Macadamia Nuts, dried Blueberries, and Chocolate making sure that each ingredient is evenly distributed.

Grease a muffin tin with sweet crême Brittany Butter or line with muffin liners. Place a spoonful of muffin mixture into each muffin case, filling each to just over half way. Stud each muffin with a few extra Macadamia Nuts, Blueberries, or Chocolate Chips.

Bake in the center of a 400°F (200°C) oven for about twenty (20) minutes, or until golden on top.

Recipe courtesy Mary Cadogan.

Why We're Fat Volume 14

2011-09-23T01:00:00.000-10:00

According to the medical journal The Lancet, half (50%) of the population of the United Kingdom and the United States of America will be clinically obese by 2030.

One reason why is The Big One breakfast plate at the Hungry Horse Café, in Corby, England.

A "typical" English breakfast??

This monstrosity weighs in at six-and-a-half pounds (6.5 lbs. or 3 kg.) and contains about 7,500 calories, three times the recommended daily calorie intake of an average adult male.

Recently, Steven Magee, a 29-year-old demolition worker has become the first person to actually finish the giant breakfast plate. The hungry Scotsman, who claims to only eat cereal for breakfast, needed one hour and twenty minutes and six cups of tea to down the three sausages, three burgers, three fried eggs, three bacon rashers, three black pudding slices, three square sausage slices and triple servings of beans and mushrooms. As if that wasn't enough, he also had to go through triple helpings of potato waffles, potato scones, hash browns, fried bread portions, and three rounds of bread and butter and toast.

More, More, More!!

So, what did he get for completing this eating challenge?

Just his $19 USD (£12) meal for free and a framed photo on the café wall.

Go figure.....

Baguette

2011-09-22T01:00:00.000-10:00

Now, as much as many of us may deride the French, this is brilliant.

French baker, Jean-Louis Hecht came up with the idea of a vending machine after customers would repeatedly stop by his apartment above his bakery and ring his bell after the store was closed to request fresh bread.

After much trial and error, he wound up with a machine that turns pre-cooked bread into steaming baguettes. Available 24 hours a day, the machine sold 1,600 baguettes in the first month alone.

"This is the bakery of tomorrow." -Jean-Louis Hecht

What could possibly be next???

Bananas!

2011-09-21T01:00:00.000-10:00

Okay, last week was the International Banana Festival held every year in Kentucky.

Yes, that Kentucky, home of blue grass, horses, bourbon, and a large cave.

Bananas come from the tropics, so, why Kentucky???

Well, 'round-about 1880, the Illinois Central Gulf Railroad was the first to develop refrigerated rail road boxcars. All of a sudden, people who didn't live in the tropics could enjoy the same fruits and vegetables as their friends down south. Fulton, Kentucky, at the time, was home to a very large railroad facility which became the redistribution point for the railroad because of its central location between New Orleans and Canada.

The United Fruit Co, now Chiquita, began shipping bananas from South America by boat to New Orleans. The bananas were then loaded onto railcars on top of blocks of ice for the trip north. Since Fulton, Kentucky had the only ice house on the route north to Chicago, the bananas were re-iced with new blocks from the Fulton Ice Plant. At one point, over 70% of the bananas that were consumed in the Unites States passed through Fulton, Kentucky.

Fulton became known as “The Banana Capital of the World.”

I guess we'll have to wait until next year to sample the
One-Ton Banana Pudding.....

Rum Punch

2011-09-20T01:00:00.000-10:00

Before there was Trader Vic's there was Don the Beachcomber.

Opened in Hollywood in 1934, Don's Beachcomber Café was the original tiki bar and Polynesian nightclub. Featuring exotic and potent Rum cocktails, Don the Beachcomber and his bar became synonymous with living the South Seas lifestyle.

Don The Beachcomber Café, c. 1940

A bootlegger during prohibition, Donn Beach (February 22, 1907 - June 7, 1989) was born Ernest Raymond Beaumont Gantt when he opened his first bar as Don the Beachcomber. Gantt is credited with the creation of such popular cocktails as the Zombie, the Tahitian Rum Punch, and the Navy Grog, to name a few. He is also claimed to have created the infamous Mai Tai.

It's all in the mix!

As the popularity of his bar grew, Gantt changed his name to Donn Beach and opened his first Don the Beachcomber Restaurant in 1937. Serving exotic Polynesian specialties in addition to his signature, sometimes lethal, cocktails, the place was an instant hit and began the tiki lounge craze that would sweep the United States.

So, on National Rum Punch Day, lets honor Donn Beach!

The Beachcomber Cocktail
Created by Donn Beach

2 oz. (60 ml.) Dark Rum, like Myers®
3/4 oz. (23 ml.) Cointreau
3/4 oz. (23 ml.) fresh Lime Juice
1/4–1/2 teaspoon Maraschino Liqueur (the juice from the jar, half-wit!)
1/4 teaspoon Simple Syrup (OPTIONAL), depending on your tastes
Ice

Place all ingredients into a chilled cocktail shaker and shake to a South Pacific rhythm. Serve in a chilled highball or hurricane glass garnished with a slice of Orange and a Maraschino Cherry.

Thanks to The Ministry of Rum.

Crumbs of Bread

2011-09-19T01:00:00.000-10:00

Bread Crumbs

Why do people buy them?

I’ve always wondered.

Just about everybody seems to have some kind of bread in the house, some fresh, some stale, some mouldy, etc. So, why are you gong to the grocery store and buying someone else’s stale bread that’s been pulverized into a can??

Ya’ got me.

Unless you have chickens or are part of the Audobon Society’s Bird Protection Programme, stale bread can be very useful. Most people throw it away.

Visigoths.

Personally, I have bread every night with dinner; whether it’s Pita, Tuscan, or some kind of a roll. Whatever’s left over, winds up in a convenient cereal bowl until there is enough to pulverize into breadcrumbs. Believe me, after toasting this will not go mouldy, and will dry up quite nicely on its own in the open air of your counter top.

So, what are breadcrumbs?

Well, they’re crumbs of bread, obviously; but where do they come from?

Does anybody really know??

Is it merely the fact that the bread manufactures have some horrible factory defects that they don’t want you to know about, which, they then pulverize into a can and re-sell to you as the important ingredient for breaded veal cutlets????

Apparently so.

The real question is who is smarter? The bread conglomerate or you, who have just come from the fresh bakery down the block, with a beautiful loaf of crusty Tuscan that is destined for the best Bruscetta ever because your upside down tomato plant is in full fruit. But wait, I only really need half a loaf, that means that I need to throw out the other half because it will go stale.

Foolish mortal.

Whatever you don’t use, place into a paper bag and then place the paper bag into a plastic bag and place that into the fridge for tomorrow. The next day it will seem soft and stale, but, stick a few slices into the toaster or in the oven for a few minutes to revitalize it and make some sandwiches or some garlic croutons for your luncheon salad.

After a few days, the bread is a bit too stale to use, so now it’s time for breadcrumbs. There are two ways to go here; you can either leave the leftover heel out on the counter to dry out on its own, or, what I prefer to do, is lightly toast whatever you have left and then leave it out on the counter to dry out.

Once you have about a loaf of stale crispy crusts of bread, break out the food processor. Unfortunately this is a necessary piece of equipment, sorry. Normally I don’t extol kitchen gadgets when a good sharp knife can be used, but, in this case, you really need one of these. And, also, isn’t your birthday coming up?? Time to splurge.

Add your stale toasted bread and pulverize away!!!

Homemade bread crumbs in no time and you managed to but a dent in Progresso's profit margin.

Cheeseburger!

2011-09-18T01:00:00.000-10:00

It's...

National Cheeseburger Day!!!!!!!!

There's really nothing more to say, other than this :

Jeera?

2011-09-17T01:00:00.000-10:00

Since September is National Rice Month, it was time to talk about one of my favorite Pilafs.

When it comes to Pilaf, we’re not talking about that cereal bowl shaped mound of anemic white rice with some diced carrots running through it that you get at every “WASPy” Country Club dinner or wedding reception. Nor are we discussing that ubiquitous “San Francisco Treat” that legions are so fond of due to the heart stopping amount of MSG contained therein. If that is your definition of a Pilaf, then prepare to be amazed.

Pilaf is a much derided and much maligned dish that can be a wonderful and glorious exotic catchall of flavour for anybody. It is undeniably one of the most useful side dishes in any “Cooking by Feel” chef’s pantheon. Additionally, the variations for Pilaf are limitless which makes it an ideal end of the week or weekend dish when you need to clear out the fridge of leftover bitsies.

Thy this on for size .....

Coconut Jeera Rice Pilaf

What the hell is "Jeera"?

And no, it's not some giant monster hellbent on destroying Tokyo. Jeera is simply the Indian word for Cumin seeds; not so scary is it? Cumin is one of those spices where the seeds themselves taste completely different than the ground up version of the same spice. Many people do not care for the pungent aroma of the ground version, here, in a Pilaf, the seeds provide a completely different and subtle perfume.

INGREDIENTS

Cumin (Jeera) Seeds, whole seeds not ground
A large bunch of Scallions or Green Onions
Xtra Virgin Olive Oyl
Basmati Rice, or Jasmine, or regular Long-Grain Rice
Chicken Broth, low-sodium tinned or plain Water
Unsweetened Coconut Milk

INGREDIENT NOTE : Do not be confused with Coco Goya®. It is not the same! Unsweetened Coconut Milk is easy to find in the Asian or Latin section of most Über-Marts, just read the label.

Kosher Salt
Fresh ground Black Pepper
Some fresh Cilantro (Coriander Leaves), finely chopped

TECHNIQUE
Wash the bunch of Scallions and, using a knife, cut them in half and separate the white part from the green part. Finely chop the white part only into small rings and place them into a cereal bowl. Take the green parts and very thinly slice them on the diagonal bias and place them into another cereal bowl.

In a large saucepan, add a healthy glug, about a fat tablespoon, of Xtra Virgin Olive Oyl and place over medium-low heat to warm up.

When the oil is hot, add about 1 1/2 teaspoons of whole Cumin Seeds, just cup your hand and fill your palm (who measures?), and the chopped white part of the Scallions frfom the cereal bowl. Sauté the Cumin and Scallions for about two (2) minutes, stirring often, until the Scallions are softened.

Using a convenient Coffee Mug, fill it with the Basmati Rice, or whatever Rice that you are using, about one (1) cup, but, honestly, who measures?

Add the Rice to the saucepan and sauté, stirring frequently, for about one (1) minute making sure to coat the Rice thoroughly with the Cumin/Scallion, Oyl mixture.

Using the now empty trusty Coffee Mug, fill it with the Coconut milk and add that to the saucepan and stir. Fill the Coffee Mug again with the Chicken Broth and add that to the saucepan. Add a sprinkle of Kosher Salt and a few grinds of Black Pepper. Turn the heat up to high, and bring to a boil, stirring frequently.

When everything is boiling, cover the saucepan and reduce the heat to very low. Cook the Rice for about fifteen (15) minutes.

After fifteen minutes, turn off the heat and let it sit for another five (5) minutes. Do Not open the lid, no peeking!

After five (5) minutes, uncover the Rice and give it a fluff with a dinner fork.

SERVICE
Toss the fluffed Rice into a large bowl and toss with the thinly sliced green part of the Scallions from the remaining cereal bowl.

This Pilaf can be served on its own or with some simple grilled vegetables. It is fabulous as an accompaniment to any Meat, Fish, or Stew; it doesn't really matter.

Serves about six (6).

VARIATIONS
This Pilaf can easily be made vegan by substituting plain water for the Chicken Broth, just add some more salt to your tastes.

Brown Rice or even Wild Rice would be a fabulous variation as well, simply follow the package directions for cooking times.

If you don't like Coconut Milk or simply don't have any, just omit it and double up on the water or the Broth and add two (2) Bay Leaves to the mixture. This makes for a much thinner, less sticky, Rice with a lovely floral aroma.

Go for it!

©2011, L. M. Sorré, Wait At The Bar

Guacamole

2011-09-16T01:00:00.000-10:00

For Guacamole Day, I won't even begin to go into my own recipe and variations. Everyone has their own style and tastes; so, who am I to argue.

Check out All Recipes for their list of their Top 20 recipes for Guac.

Linguini

2011-09-15T01:00:00.000-10:00

On National Linguini Day,

it's time for a Classic...

Linguini with Baby Clams

A staple in virtually every "Italian" restaurant on the planet. So simple and austere in its presentation that it's almost criminal; it's also criminal how so many people screw it up.

Today we're going to do something even more criminal. We're going to use tinned Clams.

Yes, you read that right. Tinned or canned Clams are a great, economical, and easy way to make this dish. Obviously, fresh Clams are the best and most flavorful way to go here, but sometimes we live in land-locked places, or it's a terrible winter night when there's no seafood to be had and all you have is what's in the larder, or you're just dead broke. Regardless, tinned Clams do work well and allow you to perfect your technique for when times are better and you're at your best friend's beach house with a whole bucket of little necks and want to show off your Linguini skills.

So, before you judge, give this a try.

INGREDIENTS

One (1) box of dried Linguini, 1 lb. or 500 g.

INGREDIENT NOTE : Dried pasta is the traditional and best way to make this dish. I find that fresh pasta is just that, too fresh. The fresh pasta doesn't have the ability to absorb the thin sauce of this dish and becomes kind of gummy. Fresh Pasta will have its day, just not here.

Two (2) cans of Whole Baby Clams

INGREDIENT NOTE : Generally, next to the canned tuna, you can find these in your local Über-Mart. Oftentimes, you will find tins of minced or chopped clams, however these don't work so well because they don't have enough juice and not enough clams. If all you can find are minced clams, see the VARIATIONS section for options.

One (1) medium-sized Vidalia Onion, or any other "Sweet" Onion
Four (4) cloves of fresh Garlic
Xtra Virgin Olive Oyl
Dry White Wine
Pepperoncino (Red Pepper Flakes), OPTIONAL
Kosher Salt
Freshly ground Black Pepper
A bunch of Flat Leaf Parsley (this is actually an ingredient and not a garnish; do not forget this! Also, try not to use Curly Parsley, it doesn't have the same flavor and texture (Larry and Moe may not care, but I do).

TECHNIQUE

Fill your large pasta pot about three-quarters of the way with cold water and place over high heat.

Using a sharp knife, peel and very finely chop the Vidalia Onion; place it into a cereal bowl.

Peel, smash, and mince the Garlic, and add it to the Onion.

Wash and dry the whole bunch of Parsley. Remove the leaves from the stems and discard the stems. Very finely chop the Parsley leaves and place them into another convenient cereal bowl.

Phew! That was a lot of chopping, go open the bottle of White Wine and have yourself a cockytale. But before you do, place a large heavy-bottomed sauté pan with high sides over medium heat to warm up.

With a glass of Wine poured and the sauté pan hot, add about three (3) or four (4) good glugs of Xtra Virgin Olive Oyl to the pan, about 1/4 cup, but who measures? Swirl the pan to coat the bottom. Add the Onion and Garlic, a sprinkle of Kosher Salt, a twist of Black Pepper, and stir to coat with the Oyl. Very gently sauté for about eight (8) to ten (10) minutes until the Onions are very soft, but not brown; adjust the heat accordingly to keep everything from burning.

When the Onions are very soft, pour in your glass of White Wine, about a cup. Give everything a good stir and go pour another glass of Wine, this one's for you! Simmer and reduce the wine until you have about 1/2 cup of liquid, about five (5) to eight (8) minutes.

Open the tins of Clams and, using the lid as a strainer, pour the Clam Juice out of the tins into the sauté pan. Give everything a good stir and add a few hearty grinds of Black Pepper. Don't worry about the Clams, we'll come back to them later.

This is OPTIONAL but lends a wonderful kick to the dish; add a heavy pinch, or more if you are feeling zesty, of Pepperoncino (the Red Pepper Flakes, y'all) to the pan, about a teaspoon and stir them into the Clam Juice.

Gently simmer the Clam Juice and everything else, stirring every so often, for about fifteen (15) to twenty (20) minutes until the Clam Juice begins to thicken and starts to form a sauce. You should be able to run a wooden spoon down the center of the pan and create a furrow that slowly fills with liquid. If the furrow fills too quickly just keep simmering, you're not there yet, if the pan looks too dry, jump to the next step.

When the sauce has formed, add the Clams from the tins and rinse out the tins with some water; add the rinsing water to the sauce. Recycle the tins (save the planet, y'all) and add three (3) hefty pinches of chopped Parsley, about three (3) heaping tablespoons to the sauté pan, don't be stingy! Stir the Clams, Parsley, and sauce together and continue to simmer for about five (5) more minutes.

By now you pasta water is boiling merrily, so add a good handful of Kosher Salt to the water and let it come back to the boil. Add the whole box of Linguini and stir constantly for the first minute to prevent the Linguini from sticking to itself. Let the Linguini boil, stirring occasionally, for about eight (8) minutes or until the pasta is "al dente", and, no, we're not talking about the baseball player.

While the pasta cooks, do not neglect your sauce, stir that every so often too.

Drain the pasta and add the pasta to the simmering sauce in the sauté pan. Add two fat pinches of chopped Parsley and thoroughly mix the sauce and pasta together. The pasta should absorb almost all of the liquid in the sauté pan.

SERVICE
Serve in large wide bowls, making sure to scoop up some baby Clams from the bottom of the sauté pan and place them on top, add an additional healthy pinch of chopped parsley as garnish.

This dish can be served either hot or at room temperature and is even better straight out of the fridge as a snicky snack while still dressed in your tattered bathrobe during your last bout of insomnia (and don't tell me that you've never done this, everyone has!).

VARIATIONS
As I said before, fresh Clams are the way to go here. Using tinned Clams is a concession. However, sometimes you cannot get fresh Clams or all of a sudden you have two extra people coming to dinner and don't have enough fresh Clams. This is where tinned minced or chopped Clams come in. No matter what, I will often add a tin of minced Clams to the fresh Clams to increase the overall "clamminess" of the dish, sounds appetizing, I know.

When making this dish with fresh Clams or a combination of fresh and tinned, a few technique changes are in order. First clean, scrub, and purge your fresh Clams (if you don't know what all of that is, I'll write you up a seafood primer in future posts). When you add the White Wine, also add the fresh Clams and cover the sauté pan with a tight fitting lid. Cook the fresh Clams for about two (2) minutes and then check on them. If any of the Clams have opened, immediately remove them from the pan and place them into a large bowl. Re-cover the pan and wait for one (1) minute. Again, check the pan for open Clams and remove them to the bowl. Keep repeating. If, after about five (5) minutes of this, checking, waiting, and removing, all of the Clams that will open have opened. If there are any unopened Clams in the pan, simply remove them and discard them. Now, add the juice from the tinned minced Clams and proceed with the rest of the recipe. When you add the drained pasta to the sauce, add the reserved fresh Clams and mix.

The traditional version always uses Linguini, however, I personally prefer Fettuccini for this. I find that the wider pasta holds onto the sauce better and gives a better texture. Spaghetti and Capellini (Angel Hair) also work well, but, really, whatever long dried pasta that you like will work.

Obviously, this is a "White" Clam Sauce, but what about "Red" Clam Sauce? If you want a Red Clam Sauce, simply add a good squirt of Double-Concentrate Tomato Paste when you add the Clam Juice. Everything will turn nicely red!

Buon Appetito!

BBQ Pizza?

2011-09-14T01:00:00.000-10:00

So what do you do with all that leftover Pulled Pork from yesterday's Barbecue??

You make...

Pizza!!!

Ya silly.

Barbecue Pulled Pork Pizza

My cousin Marty recently discovered this somewhere in Montana and has been after me to come up with my version.

Give it a whirl.

INGREDIENTS

About two (2) to three (3) cups of leftover Barbecued Pulled Pork, about three good hand-fulls

INGREDIENT NOTE : There is no cheating here. Go and get yourself an eleven-pound (11 lbs. or 5 kg.) Pork Shoulder, brine it overnight, give it a rub, spark up the grill, and come back in fourteen (14) to eighteen (18) hours. However, there is a "cop-out" method listed in the VARIATIONS section below, for those with instant gratification needs. But, you will be a "pantie-waist" and the source or much ridicule and derision for going that route. Wuss.

About two (2) cups of your favorite Barbecue Sauce

INGREDIENT NOTE : As I mentioned above, do not cheat here. Make your own sauce, it's not that hard. If you absolutely have to go with store-bought, I recommend Stubb's®. But, seriously, man-up and make your own and avoid being told that you're a "sissy".

A ball of Mozzarella Cheese, about one-pound (1 lb. or 500 g.)
Three (3) medium-sized Vidalia Onions, or Maui, or Walla Walla, or any Sweet Onion
Xtra Virgin Olive Oyl
Kosher Salt and freshly ground Black Pepper
Some Brown Sugar
Some All-Purpose (AP) Flour
A ball of Pizza Dough, about one-pound (1 lb. or 500 g.)

INGREDIENT NOTE : Pizza Dough is very easy to make at home and I advise you to do it. Recipes can be found on-line and in virtually every cookbook around. However, for those people afraid of flour and yeast, many Über-Marts have frozen pizza dough available (I know that Trader Joe's makes a good one). If I'm not making my own dough or using frozen, what I'll often do is stop by my favorite local pizza shop and ask them for a ball of their own dough, uncooked. Most pizza shops will happily sell you a ball of dough for about five bucks; though, you may get some funny looks when they ask you what kind of toppings you want on your raw dough.

TECHNIQUE
Place a large skillet over medium-high heat along with about three (3) good glugs of Xtra Virgin Olive Oyl to warm up.

Peel the Onions and slice them into very thin half-moon shapes.

When the skillet is hot add the Onions and give them a good stir to coat with the hot oil. Sprinkle with some Kosher Salt, a few grinds of fresh Black Pepper, and about a tablespoon of Brown Sugar. Give everything a good stir to combine, cover with a lid and sauté for about ten (10) minutes or until translucent and softened.

While the Onions are softening, using a box grater, coarsely shred up the whole ball of Mozzarella Cheese and place it into a bowl.

After the Onions have softened, remove the lid and reduce the heat to very low. Continue to sauté the Onions, uncovered, for another fifteen (15) to twenty (20) minutes, stirring frequently to keep them from burning and sticking to the bottom of the pan, until they are a caramelized dark golden brown. Remove from the heat and set aside to cool.

Spark up the oven to 550°F (288°C) and move the rack to the lower third.

Grease the bottom of a 12x17-inch (30x43 cm) baking sheet with some Xtra Virgin Olive Oyl. Flour up your hands with some AP Flour and roll the Pizza Dough out onto the greased baking sheet; you can simply use your hands to stretch the dough out to your favorite Pizza shape or you can use a lightly floured rolling pin or empty wine bottle, it's up to you.

Once you have your Pizza rolled out, slather the top of the Pizza with a liberal amount of your favorite Barbecue Sauce, don't be stingy! I usually use about a cup here, but this is up to you; what you don't use here, will be needed later, not to fear.

Cover the Barbecue Sauce with as much shredded Mozzarella Cheese as you like. I generally use about a cup here, but, again, this is up to you and you will be using the rest later.

Place the Pizza into a 550°F (288°C) oven for about fifteen (15) minutes or until the bottom is crispy and the crust is golden brown. Don't worry if it takes five (5) minutes longer; everyone's oven is different.

While the Pizza cooks, combine the remaining Barbecue Sauce and the leftover Pulled Pork in a bowl.

After fifteen (15) minutes or when the Pizza is done, remove it from the oven and set it aside for a few minutes. Turn the oven to broil and rearrange the racks to about eight-inches (8 in. or 20 cm.) from the flame or heating element.

Evenly spread the Pulled Pork/Barbecue Sauce mixture all over the top of the cooked Pizza. Evenly spread the caramelized Onions (thought we had forgotten about them, didn't you?) all over the top of the Pulled Pork. Cover everything with the remaining shredded Mozzarella Cheese.

Place the Pizza under the broiler for two (2) to three (3) minutes to melt the Cheese and crisp up.
SERVICE
Serve at will with your favorite Beer!

VARIATIONS
Okay, okay, you don't have eighteen hours to make your own Pulled Pork Shoulder, so, what're you going to do besides wimp out? For the truly desperate and very lame, head on over to your local take out barbecue joint and buy a pulled pork "platter" with sauce on the side and no side dishes, but, really, what's the point? Use the take-out pulled pork the same way as you would your own, far superior, pulled pork but check it for saltiness and adjust accordingly (you may need to use less or more Barbecue Sauce to hide the lousy take-out BBQ flavor).

©2011 L. M. Sorré, Wait At The Bar

Let me know what y'all think....

Peanut!

2011-09-13T01:00:00.000-10:00

Sometimes you feel like a ...

On National Peanut Day it's time to celebrate the nut that's not a nut (it's a legume, like beans, y'all).

So, today, I'm going to combine two of my favorite things,

Peanuts and Pork!

Grilled Pork Chops with Red Peanut Sauce

This dish is really quick and easy. The sauce can be made days ahead of time and kept in a jelly jar in the fridge for at least ten (10) days. The sauce also freezes extremely well and can be doubled and tripled so that you'll never run out!

FULL Recipe after the JUMP

INGREDIENTS

All-Natural Very Chunky Peanut Butter

INGREDIENT NOTE : Sorry Mom, JIF® won't work here. Peanut butter should only have one ingredient, PEANUTS! The only other acceptable addition is Salt. So, go to the Über-Mart and look around; you should be able to find some. Now, if, for some unholy reason, you cannot find All -Natural Chunky Peanut Butter, you can use regular plain old roasted Peanuts from a tin! See the VARIATIONS section for details.

Unsweetened Coconut Milk

INGREDIENT NOTE : That leftover can of Coco Lopez® from last winter's "Beach Party in February" will not work here. Unsweetened Coconut Milk is easily found in the Asian section of your local Über-Mart, go look for it. If you really can't find this, here are some options.

Red-Curry Paste

INGREDIENT NOTE : Curry Paste can also be found in the Asian section of your local Über-Mart. Just look around for it. This type of Curry paste comes in other varieties as well. I prefer the Red variety for this dish, but you could certainly substitute Green, Yellow, or Madras depending on how you're feeling and create something new. Now, if you can't find this, you can actually make this yourself! See the VARIATIONS sections for details.

Asian Fish Sauce

INGREDIENT NOTE : Another note and another trip to the Asian section of the Über-Mart. This is getting monotonous.

Some fresh Garlic
A few Shallots
Some fresh Ginger
A few Limes
Cider Vinegar
Brown Sugar
Four (4) to six (6) Pork Chops, Bone-In, Thin-Cut, about 1 1/2 lbs. (680 g.) total

INGREDIENT NOTE : I prefer this type of chop because it cooks up very quickly on a grille or even on the stovetop, and it makes for a great family style presentation. Really, though, just about any cut of pork will do. I adore thin boneless pork cutlets as well as double cut chops for this. The only real variation is cooking time. See the VARIATIONS section for some adjustments.

Kosher Salt
Freshly ground Black Pepper

ACCOMPANIMENTS

These ingredients aren't absolutely necessary, however, they really make and enhance the dish.

Fresh Cilantro, finely chopped
Thinly sliced Cucumber
Chopped roasted Peanuts
Lime wedges

TECHNIQUE

Break out the Food Processor or the Blender. This is one of the few recipes where power tools are a necessity. However, you can do this by hand if you like; see the VARIATIONS section for the truly hand-made approach.

Into the bowl of the Food Processor or Blender add the following :

About 1/2 cup of Peanut Butter
About 1/2 cup of Coconut Milk
About two (2) tablespoons of Red-Curry Paste
About two (2) tablespoons of Fish Sauce
About one (1) teaspoon of Cider Vinegar
About one (1) teaspoon of Brown Sugar
The juice of one (1) Lime
One (1) good-sized Shallot, peeled and cut into quarters
Four (4) cloves of fresh Garlic, peeled and cut in half
One (1) knob, about the size of your thumb, of fresh Ginger, peeled and cut in half

TECHNIQUE NOTE : I cannot stand "measurements"; so, all of the above are approximations. A little more or less won't hurt anyone. If you don't like Garlic, use less, want it more spicy, add more Red-Curry, too thick, add some more Coconut milk. Don't be so fussy.

When you have all of the ingredients in the Processor or Blender, give everything a good buzz. Pulse and scrape down the sides every so often until you get a nice, slightly chunky, purée. Give your purée a taste to see if it needs any more salt, pepper, sugar, coconut milk, etc. to your own taste.

Pour the purée into a small heavy bottomed saucepan and place it over very low heat. Bring to a simmer and stir regularly for two (2) minutes being careful not to burn or scorch the sauce. If the sauce is too thick, thin it out with a splash of plain water. Turn off the heat, cover the saucepan, and let the sauce come to room temperature. The sauce can be made days ahead of time and stored in an airtight glass jar until you're ready to use it; the flavors will only intensify and get better over time.

When dinner time is approaching, take the Pork Chops out of the fridge to warm up to room temperature and spark up the grille. If you're doing these indoors, place your cast iron grille pan or heavy bottomed skillet on very high heat to warm up.

Season the Chops with a sprinkle of Kosher Salt and a few grinds of fresh Black Pepper on both sides.

When the grille is very hot, oil down the grating to keep the Chops from sticking and grill them for about three (3) minutes on each side. Remove from the grille when they are lightly charred and set aside to rest.

If doing this indoors in a grille pan or skillet, take a paper towel and soak it with some cooking oil. Using a pair of heavy tongs, rub the oiled papper towel over the ribs of the grille pan or the bottom of the skillet to keep the Chops from sticking. Fry the Chops individually to keep the pan from cooling down too quickly for about four (4) to five (5) minutes per side. There will be lots of smoke and noise, don't worry and open a window. When the Chops are slightly charred or seared, remove them from the pan and place into a very low oven to keep warm.

SERVICE

Slather the Pork Chops with the Red-Curry Peanut Sauce, sprinkle with finely chopped Cilantro, some chopped Peanuts, sliced Cucumber, and a wedge of Lime. Serve with a bowl of Coconut Jeera Rice on the side.

Scrumptious!

VARIATIONS
Obviously, Pork Chops aren't the only way to use this sauce. This sauce is excellent with grilled Chicken of any kind, cutlets or whole parts. Grilled ginormo Tiger Prawns or grilled Lobster or Langoustines are fabulous, as well, when accompanied by this sauce. Basically, you can use this on just about anything, including the kids.

Now, if you cannot find Red-Curry Paste in the market, making it yourself is as simple as collecting a bunch of ingredients and breaking out the blender. Check out Thai Food and follow the recipe!

If you really want a complete hands on approach, all of this can be done with a large bowl, a very sharp knife, and a mortar and pestle. Using your very sharp knife, mince up, as finely as you can, the Garlic, Shallots, and Ginger and place them in a large bowl. Add the remaining ingredients and mix together to form a rough paste. Then, working in batches, mash up and grind the paste into a smooth batter using the mortar and pestle. This takes some effort, but it's a fun workout!

The "brute force" method I described above is the way to make this sauce if you don't have Chunky Peanut Butter. Personally, I like to use plain roasted unsalted Peanuts instead of Peanut Butter for this sauce; it make for a really rustic sauce. Take about 1/2 cup of unsalted roasted Peanuts and place them into your mortar and pestle. Mash and grind until you have a fine powder/mealy paste. Add a few glugs of Peanut Oil to smooth out your Peanut paste. Place the Peanut paste into a mixing bowl and add about 1/3 cup of Coconut Milk, Stir to combine and then proceed with the remainder of the ingredients.

I mentioned above that any cut of Pork will work here. If using thicker Chops, the only thing to be aware of is cooking time and heat. For really thick (2-inch or 5 cm.) Chops, if using a grille, char them for a few minutes over high flame and them move them off to the side (indirect heat) for about ten (10) minutes to finish them. The same holds true if doing this indoors on the stove top. Sear the Chops over high heat and then finish them in a 350°F (177°C) oven for about ten (10) minutes. A Pork roast or tenderloin also works great for this, just remember your cooking times. A tenderloin grills up very quickly and needs much less indirect heat, maybe five (5) minutes, depending on your grille. If doing a tenderloin indoors, sear it in a skillet and then place it in the oven for five (5) to eight (8) minutes. A Pork roast or shoulder takes much longer, again, sear and then place over indirect heat for between one (1) hour, for a roast, and four (4) hours, for a shoulder. Something tells me I need to do a whole separate post on how to cook Pork!

As I've said repeatedly, this sauce keeps very nicely and can be frozen for those dark dreary winter nights.

Enjoy your Peanuts!

Milkshake!

2011-09-12T01:00:00.000-10:00

Chocolate Milkshake Day!!

A classic needs no more explanation.

Bunsies!!

2011-09-11T06:00:00.000-10:00

What the F*%# are Hot Cross Buns??!??

Why do they have their own day, today, of all days?

Why does one give them to their sons if they have no daughters, according to the nursery rhyme??

Are these buns angry at something??? Is that why they're "cross"????

Honestly, I have no idea.

More commonly associated with Easter, not September, and, more specifically, associated with Good Friday, Hot Cross Buns are a spiced bun with currants, raisins, and candied fruit that are enjoyed throughout the year. Obviously, the cross on the bun is a symbol of the Catholic Church and signifies the resurrection as the dough must rise; the cross is traditionally baked into the bun using either pastry dough, cake icing, or, simply, sliced into the dough, before baking, with a knife.

Legend has it that buns baked and served on Good Friday will not spoil or become mouldy during the subsequent year, and giving a Hot Cross Bun to someone who is sick or ailing is said to help them recover. Not bad for a lowly bun, hunh?

Legend also has it that sharing a Hot Cross Bun with another is supposed to ensure friendship throughout the coming year, particularly if "Half for you and half for me, Between us two shall goodwill be" is said at the time. Because of the cross on the buns, some say they should be kissed before being eaten; the buns, not the person, silly, unless, maybe, it's the person's buns?? Ooooh!

If a Hot Cross Bun is hung up in the kitchen, it is said to protect against fires and ensure that all breads baked in that kitchen turn out perfectly. Each year, the hanging bun is replaced with a fresh one to insure continued good fortune in the kitchen.

Guess I'd better go make some, I could use some good fortune.....

Recipe after the JUMP

Hot Cross Buns

Makes about twenty-four (24) buns

INGREDIENTS

One (1) cup warm whole Milk, about 105°–115°F (40°-46°C)
Two (2) 1/4-ounce (7 g.) packages (5 teaspoons) Active Dry Yeast
1/2 cup plus 1 teaspoon Caster (granulated) Sugar
Four (4) cups All-Purpose (AP) Flour
1 1/2 teaspoons ground Allspice or Cardamom (a personal preference)
1/2 teaspoon Cinnamon
1 teaspoon Kosher Salt
1 1/4 sticks (1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons) cold Sweet Creme Butter
Two (2) large Eggs
One (1) large Egg Yolk
1/2 cup dried Currants
1/3 cup Golden Raisins
2 teaspoons finely grated fresh Orange Zest
2 teaspoons finely grated fresh Lemon Zest
3 tablespoons Superfine Granulated Sugar
Pastry Dough, store-bought frozen, thawed

INGREDIENT NOTE : Pastry Dough can be found in the freezer section of most large Über-Marts. Just look around. You can, of course, make this yourself, from scratch. I'll be waiting over here....

TECHNIQUE
In a small bowl stir together the Milk, Yeast, and one (1) teaspoon Caster Sugar. Let the mixture stand for about five (5) minutes, or until foamy.

Into a large bowl sift together the Flour, Allspice (or Cardamom, if using), Cinnamon, Kosher Salt, and the remaining 1/2 cup of Caster Sugar. Cut the Butter into small bits and, using a wire pastry blender or large dinner fork, blend the Butter into the flour mixture until it resembles a coarse meal.

Lightly beat one (1) whole Egg with the Egg Yolk in a small bowl.

Make a well in center of the flour meal and pour in the Yeast mixture, the Egg and Yolk mixture, the Currants, the Raisins, and the citrus Zests. Stir together well until a dough is formed. Transfer the dough to a floured surface and, with floured hands, knead until smooth and elastic, about ten (10) minutes. Transfer the dough to an oiled large bowl and turn to coat. Let the dough rise, covered with plastic wrap, in a warm quiet place until it has doubled in size, about an hour and a half (90 minutes).

While the dough rises, go butter two (2) large baking sheets.

After the dough has risen, turn it out onto a floured surface and, with floured hands, knead the dough briefly to form two (2) twelve-inch (12 in. or 30 cm.) long logs. Cut each log crosswise into twelve (12) equal pieces. Form each piece into a ball and arrange about 1 1/2-inches apart (4 cm) on the baking sheets. Let the buns rise, covered with a clean dish towel, in a warm quiet place, until doubled in bulk, about forty-five (45) minutes.

Preheat the oven to 400°F (204°C) with the racks set to upper and lower third.

While the buns are rising, lightly beat the remaining Egg with the Superfine Sugar to make an Egg Glaze.

Frozen Pastry Dough generally comes in folded sheets about 1/8-inch (30 mm) thick. If your sheets are a little thicker, use a floured rolling pin or empty wine bottle to flatten them out some more. Using a sharp knife, cut the sheets into strips 1/8-inches (30 mm) wide and six-inches (6 in. or 15cm) long. If you made the stuff yourself, congratulations! Now, roll it out by hand to form a 20x6-inch (50x15 cm) rectangle about 1/8-inch (30 mm) thick and then slice it into strips.

When the buns have fully risen, brush them with the Egg Glaze and arrange two (2) strips of Pastry Dough over center of each bun to form a cross. Trim the ends of the pastry strips flush with bottoms of buns.

Bake the buns in the upper and lower thirds of the oven, switching the position of the baking sheets halfway through, until golden brown, about twelve (12) minutes total.

Transfer the buns onto a rack to cool slightly.

SERVICE
Serve either warm or at room temperature with butter or your favorite preserves.

These buns may be made one week ahead and then individually wrapped in foil, placed in a sealable plastic bag, and frozen. Thaw buns and reheat before serving.

VARIATIONS

As I mentioned earlier, if you don't feel like mucking about with pastry dough, you can make a simple doughnut glaze to form your cross. In a small bowl, whisk together one (1) cup Confectioners Sugar, two (2) teaspoons Vanilla, and four (4) teaspoons of whole Milk to form an oozy paste. Slice through the tops of the risen buns with a sharp knife to make a shallow furrow in the form of a cross. Fill the furrow with the doughnut glaze using a spoon or a square of parchment paper shaped into a cone as a piping bag. Then bake as normal.

I mentioned the use of Cardamom as an option to Allspice earlier. My Norwegian Mother really likes her Cardamom, so the buns that I grew up with used that instead. Personally, I like a combination of the two, but it's your kitchen that your blessing after all, so who am I to say.

Recipe adapted by L. M. Sorré from Epicurious

"Hot cross buns!
Hot cross buns!
One ha' penny, two ha' penny,
Hot cross buns!
If you have no daughters,
Give them to your sons
One ha' penny,
Two ha' penny,
Hot Cross Buns!"

-The Oxford English Dictionary of Nursery Rhymes

TV Dinner!

2011-09-10T06:07:00.004-10:00

TV DINNER Day!!!!!

The story goes...

In 1954, Gerald Thomas, a C.A. Swanson & Sons executive, had a big problem. What to do with about 270 tons of left over Thanksgiving Turkey?

"After Thanksgiving, Swanson had ten refrigerated railroad box cars, each containing 520,000 pounds [240,000 kg.] of unsold turkeys, going back and forth across the country, because there was not enough storage in warehouses. We were challenged to come up with a way to get rid of the turkeys," said Thomas.

He got the breakthrough idea from the trays used for airline food service. And, thus, the TV Dinner was born.

The first production order was for 5,000 dinners, thought to be a big gamble at the time as rival companies, like Quaker States Foods, were having only limited success in the then burgeoning frozen food market. Swanson hired some two dozen women to man the factory assembly line during the night shift, all armed with ice cream scoops, to fill the new compartmentalized trays.

The first TV Dinner featured Turkey, Corn Bread Dressing and Gravy, buttered Peas and Sweet Potatoes. It cost 98 cents (€ 70 cents) and came in a box resembling a television set.

The initial 5,000 dinners produced proved to be a gross underestimation. Swanson eventually sold 10,000,000 TV Dinners that very same year.

At the time, most households in America did not own freezers; so, the dinners were bought refrigerated and then "prepared" in the oven at home that very same day. Since the dinners were the exact size of a TV tray, they were perfect for having a hot "home-cooked" meal in front of the television set while watching "Kukla, Fran, and Ollie".

A frozen Fried Chicken dinner was introduced in 1955 with other flavor styles soon to follow.

Lutefisk TV Dinner - Salt Cod cured with Lye!

To this day, Turkey remains the most popular Swanson TV Dinner, except in Dallas-Fort Worth, Texas where, inexplicably, Fried Chicken is king. Nobody truly knows why.

Sadly, in 1962 Swanson stopped calling the product TV Dinners, but generations of people around the globe still refer to most frozen pre-made meals as "TV Dinners" and never forget their first taste of an American icon.

Schnitzel!

2011-09-09T04:58:00.000-10:00

It's Wiener Schnitzel Day!

No, this has absolutely nothing to do with Dachshunds, politicians, or certain bits of personal anatomy.

Wiener means "Veal" in German and Schnitzel means "Cutlet".
Not so complicated now is it??

It is hotly debated which came first, the Schnitzel or its Northern Italian counterpart, the Scaloppini. Personally, being from Northern Italy (insert sagely crooked finger gesture here) it most certainly originated in Milan somewhere during the 15th Century and immediately gained popularity northward, i.e. Austria and Germany.

So, with that said,

Scaloppini di Vitello Milanese

(Wiener Schnitzel, if you must)

FULL Recipe and The World's Largest Schnitzel after the JUMP!

INGREDIENTS

Four (4) Veal cutlets, about 5 oz. (142 g.) each, pounded out to 1/4-inch (6 mm) thick

INGREDIENT NOTE : Traditionally, Veal is the meat of choice for this dish, however, Chicken or Pork can also be used as terrific and more economical options. See the VARIATIONS below for a slight technique change.

1/4 cup All Purpose (AP) Flour
1/4 teaspoon Kosher Salt
1/2 cup Plain Bread Crumbs

INGREDIENT NOTE : We'll talk about so-called "seasoned" bread crumbs in the VARIATIONS section; they are evil.

Two (2) Eggs
Some freshly ground Black Pepper
Olive Oil or Lard for frying

INGREDIENT NOTE : Lard is the traditional and preferred fat for frying. Lard produces a better overall crispiness to whatever is fried in it; however, your cholesterol count is your business, so use what you like. Do not use Corn oil as it can break down too easily and become sticky and gummy. Personally, a Light Olive Oil, Peanut Oil, or Grapeseed Oil is what I go for.

TECHNIQUE
Sandwich your Veal between two pieces of plastic wrap and place on a solid flat surface. Using the flat side of a meat mallet, a rolling pin, a two-by-four, a brick, the bottom of a cast iron skillet, or an empty Champagne bottle, pound out the Veal, working out from the centre, very thinly, to an even thickness of about 1/4-inch (6 mm). Go ahead, make lots of noise, frighten the neighbors, vent your frustrations at the world. Set your flattened cutlets off to the side. Now, you can purchase, at great expense, pre-pounded cutlets, but you won't get any satisfaction out of it.

After you feel better, line up three (3) shallow dishes or wide bowls.

Place the AP Flour and 1/2 teaspoon of Kosher Salt into the first dish; mix well using a convenient dinner fork. Crack the Eggs into the second dish, add a pinch of Kosher Salt, a grind of Black Pepper, and beat together with the aforementioned convenient dinner fork. Place the Bread Crumbs into the third dish.

Take a large skillet, large enough to hold one or two cutlets at the most, and place over medium-high heat. Add enough Lard or Oil to fill the pan up to about 1/4-inch (6 mm). Let the skillet warm up until the fat reaches 350°F (177°C). An easy way to tell if your oil or fat is hot enough is to take a pinch of Bread Crumbs and sprinkle them into the pan; if they pop and sputter very quickly, the oil is ready, if they slowly sizzle, wait a few more minutes.

When the fat is hot, working one at a time, dredge each cutlet, first, in the Flour until the surface is completely dry. Then into the Egg mixture, just to coat, allowing the excess to drip off for a few seconds. Then roll the eggy-cutlet quickly into the Bread Crumbs until evenly coated. Do not press the Bread Crumbs into the meat. Place the breaded cutlet immediately into the skillet with the hot fat.

IMPORTANT TECHNIQUE NOTE : This is critical, do not crowd the pan. This is the first mistake that anybody who fries at home makes, the second one is not having the pan hot enough or too hot, but that's for another time. When doing scaloppine or schnitzel, if your pan only holds one cutlet, you're better off; merely cook each cutlet individually, in batches. Nobody will yell at you. By not over filling the pan, you insure that the fat does not cool down which makes for perfect, even, non-greasy frying.

The Scaloppini should float or "swim" in the oil or fat. Contrary to superstition, by bathing in the hot fat, the breading will absorb less oil than it would if it were sticking to the bottom of the pan. This allows the Bread Crumb coating to puff up a little making it crispier and easier to clean up, bonus!

Fry the scaloppini for about three (3) to four (4) minutes on the first side. Swirl the pan around and, using your convenient dinner fork, make sure that your scaloppini is not sticking to the bottom of the pan.

After three (3) to four (4) minutes, turn the scaloppini over and fry it on the other side for about two (2) to three (3) minutes.

When the scaloppini is golden brown on both sides, remove it from the hot fat and place on a platter lined with paper towels to drain.

The scaloppine can be placed into a very low oven to keep warm or simply allowed to cool to room temperature for later. The choice is yours

SERVICE
Traditionally, Scaloppini is served simply with a sprinkle of finely chopped Parsley and a large wedge of Lemon.

Personally, I prefer a "hot and cold" approach. I like to serve my Scaloppine with a crisp salad of Baby Arugula, paper thin sliced Red Onion, and halved Grape Tomatoes dressed with salt, pepper, and plain Lemon Juice. The rich warm silky Scaloppini is a great textural and taste contrast to the crisp bitter bite of the cool salad. Pair it with a nice dry Prosecco, a lovely companion, and a view al fresco, and this can't be beat.

Since it is Schnitzel Day, Wiener Schnitzel is normally served with some Lemon slices and a German style (vinegar based, not mayonnaise based) Potato Salad and a simple Green Salad on the side.

These Scaloppine are also fabulous, cold, the next day or as a late night snack after a night out with "The Boys". These plain cutlets are the perfect base for Parmiggiano Hero Sandwiches (Veal Parm, guys, c'mon) as well as a topping for a luncheon pasta salad.

VARIATIONS
As I mentioned above, Chicken or Pork are fabulous options if you're against Veal or if Veal is beyond your budget. Both Chicken and Pork tend to cook more quickly than Veal, so merely shorten the cooking time. Obviously, Chicken Breasts are the primary choice for this, however, boneless Chicken Thighs can also be used. If opting for Pork, a Loin Roast is the easiest and very economical option.

About "seasoned" bread crumbs, I really don't know why people buy these things. They're plain old bread crumbs with a bunch of MSG, vague "flavorings", sawdust, and whatever else is around added to it. Just make 'em yourself. Take a can of plain bread crumbs, add a tablespoon of salt, a few grinds of black pepper, and a fat tablespoon of dried Tarragon. Give it a mix and "Presto!", seasoned bread crumbs. Don't like Tarragon? Use dried Oregano, dried Basil, and granulated Garlic instead for "Italian" style bread crumbs. Add some Cumin powder and some Curry powder for "Indian" style bread crumbs. Use Herbes de Provence and make it French. Use Paprika and make it Spanish. See how easy it is? And, you didn't have to pay extra for it.

Have some fun with this!

Recipe ©2011 L. M. Sorré, Wait At The Bar

If all of this isn't enough for you, you can order Schnitzel by the meter! That's right, in a restaurant in Germany, they've got a one (1) meter (40-inch) Schnitzel on the regular menu. But, this guy's going for the record, 1.6 meters (63-inches).

Here he is in action :

Sorry, the Audio is in German, like all good Schnitzels!

Horse Power

2011-09-08T01:00:00.000-10:00

Shaken not Stirred??

This is my kind of blender.

Why We're Fat Volume 13

2011-09-07T01:00:00.000-10:00

It appears that the Hungarians know something we Americans don't.

Hungary, better known for Goulash, is the home of some of the finest, most scrumptious, and delectable desserts and pastries on the planet.

The Dobostorta Cake, a luscious five-layer vanilla and chocolate buttercreme affair with a caramel-glaze on top, is considered a national treasure and is easily the most popular dessert treat in all of Hungary.

So, why tax it???

"Hungarians are really into desserts," said Carolyn Banfalvi, co-founder of Taste Hungary, a gastronomic tour company. She describes Hungarian food, in general, as "very fatty," with traditional cooking ingredients that include pork and goose fat. "What they call bacon here is often pieces of pure lard," Ms. Banfalvi said.

The Hungarian government argues that this kind of diet is also leading to obesity and increased health problems, and that those who partake in indulgences like sweets should also pay a premium to help offset those costs.

Enter the "fat tax."

Beginning Sept. 1, Hungarians will have to pay a 10 forint ($0.05 USD or € 0.037) tax on foods with high fat, sugar and salt content, as well as increased tariffs on soda and alcohol. The expected annual proceeds of $98.7 million or €70 million will go toward state health care costs, including those associated with addressing the country's 18.8 percent obesity rate, which is more than 3 percent higher than the European Union average of 15.5 percent according to a 2010 report by the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development. In Germany, by comparison, 13.6 percent of adults are obese, with Romania at the bottom of the list with 7.9 percent.

So, what can we Americans learn from this?

Probably nothing.

Taxing that ginormo bag of Doritos® or adding an extra two bucks to that "Xtra Value Meal" probably would not have any effect whatsoever on the eating habits of Americans. The simple fact that "junk" foods and fast foods are so easily available and cheap, will not deter the consumers and manufacturers alike in their attempts to make and keep everyone obese.

Sadly, a simple tax cannot change an entire culture.

Especially, when half of the population in the United States will be clinically obese by 2030.

Facts and figures courtesy of Der Spiegel.

Coffee Ice Cream

2011-09-06T00:00:00.000-10:00

On National Coffee Ice Cream Day,

What's one to do when there's no Coffee Ice Cream to be found???

Make your own!

Ghetto Style Coffee Ice Cream

Seriously, there are numerous recipes out there for those people with the time, patience, wherewithal, and expensive ice cream machines, but, when in doubt, go the go the Ghetto route.

Works every time....

EQUIPMENT

A Cereal Bowl

A Soup Spoon

INGREDIENTS

A pint of cheap Vanilla Ice Cream
Some Instant Coffee

TECHNIQUE

Take the cheap Vanilla Ice Cream out of the freezer and let it soften up, about twenty (20) minutes, or you can "nuke" it in the microwave for ten (10) seconds if you need immediate gratification.

Using your Soup Spoon, place one large scoop of softened Ice Cream into the Cereal Bowl.

Using the Ice Cream covered Soup Spoon, sprinkle some Instant Coffee on top of the Ice Cream in the Cereal Bowl.

Add another scoop of Ice Cream and another sprinkle of Instant Coffee.

Let sit for five (5) minutes.

After five (5) minutes, either mix everything together and re-freeze for later; or, just do what I do, mix it a small bit and enjoy the texture difference of the partially dissolved slightly crunchy Instant Coffee and the smooth silky Ice Cream.

VARIATIONS
Mocha!

Simply substitute cheap Chocolate Ice Cream. And, by the way, this also works great with Nestlé's Quik® for a mocha combination milkshake!

Cheese Pizza

2011-09-05T06:49:00.000-10:00

National Cheese Pizza Day!

Here in the Good 'Ole U. S. of A., the Cheese Pizza is what makes the world go around. People can argue all they want about Pepperoni, Anchovies, Mushrooms, and Olives, but no one can deny the austerity and perfection that is the humble Cheese Pizza.

But, what about the rest of the planet?

Since Pizza is universal and knows no language barrier, what does the rest of the planet like on their Pizza??

Australia

When it comes to Pizza, the Australians like to do things their own way. A very popular combination Down Under consists of Barbecue Sauce, Emu, Crocodile, and Kangaroo. Definitely a different kind of meat lovers' pie! Another popular combo is Barbecue Sauce, Shrimp, and Pineapple—fruity, savory and spicy all at the same time.

France

The Fried-Egg Pizza.

In France, the Egg, which is usually cooked sunny-side up, is either baked right on top of the pie or fried in a pan and then placed on top. Either way, it makes for a terriffic breakfast-Pizza!

Also Popular in France is the Tarte Flambée.

Originating in the Bas-Rhin region of Alsace in northeastern France, this delicacy includes a thin layer of dough—similar to a Crêpe—topped with Crème Fraîche, sliced Onions, and Bacon.

India

Pickled Ginger, minced Mutton (older Lamb), Paneer (an Indian cheese similar to cottage cheese), and Tofu are popular Pizza toppings in India. Another favorite is a spicy Chicken known as “tikka," which is cooked and chopped after being marinated in a fiery yogurt sauce.

Russia

Pizza topped with sardines, tuna, mackerel, onions and salmon is known as Моцкба or "Mockba" in Russia. The fishy pie is typically served cold with a bottle of Vodka and packs a whole lot of flavor.

Sweden

The Swedish eat their thin-crust pies with a fork and knife. And while they enjoy all sorts of toppings, the “Pizza Africana” combination is by far the most interesting. It includes Peanuts, Bananas, Chicken, Pineapple, and Curry Powder—lots of Curry Powder.

Germany

In Germany, one of the most popular pizza toppings is tinned Tuna. It is often mixed with all sorts of other toppings or, more simply, left on its own for a “Tuna Pizza.”

Japan

Leave it to the Japanese to come up with a winning American-style combination. The Mayo Jaga Pizza is topped with Mayonnaise, Potatoes, Bacon, Corn, Pimiento, and Onion.

The best part, it's available at Domino’s in Japan!

Now, all of these combinations, as fabulous as they may be, still pale in comparison to the Plain Cheese Pizza.

Sorry Marty, your Barbecued Pulled Pork Pizza takes a back seat today....

However, I will get to it!

Waffle Week

2011-09-05T05:54:00.001-10:00

As many of you know, the first week of September is

National Waffle Week!

Everybody love waffles. Whether they be sweet or savory doesn't really matter, but, honestly, in our multi-tasking zoom-zoom society who really has the time to break out the old waffle iron and make a batch?

The time honored waffle iron seems to be kind of a one trick pony. It doesn't seem like you can use it for anything else.

Or can you????

Well, the good folks over at Waffleizer have you covered.

Waffelizer is an entire website devoted to other uses for your waffle iron!!!

Behold :

Waffle-Fried Chicken and Waffles

"The idea here is that I was disappointed the first time I tried that iconic dish, chicken and waffles, at the legendary Roscoe's in Los Angeles. I was disappointed because it wasn't a dish like chicken and dumplings or chicken pot pie ... it was just chicken, comma, and a waffle, period. You got a waffle with your chicken like you'd get a side of spaghetti in an Italian restaurant, or a toaster with your checking account.

I felt like chicken and waffles was missing a fabulous opportunity to create a unified dish — hot juicy chicken, savory waffle, rib-sticking gravy. So I conjured up chicken and waffles that matched my idea of what chicken and waffles should be."

-Michael Gerbert

For the Waffle-Fried Chicken

INGREDIENTS

Boneless, skinless Chicken Breasts
Buttermilk
All-purpose (AP) Flour
Kosher Salt and freshly ground Black Pepper
Spices (such as Onion Powder, Garlic Powder, Ground Sage, etc.)

TECHNIQUE
Cut the Chicken Breasts into thin cutlets about 1/8-inch thick (3 mm) and small enough to fit within one waffle square in your waffle maker. Place the cutlets into a mixing bowl and coat with the Buttermilk.

In a large Ziploc® bag combine your favorite fried-chicken coating ingredients — Flour, Kosher Salt, freshly ground Black Pepper, a little Onion and Garlic powder, some Tony Chachere's chicken rub, some ground Sage, a little Cayenne, basically whatever you like.

Toss the cutlets around in the bag until coated, then lay them on a rack to dry for about twenty (20) to thirty (30) minutes.

For the Savory Waffle Batter
INGREDIENTS
Makes about four (4) 4x5-inch (10x12 cm.) waffle squares; multiply as needed.

1/2 cup Corn Meal [70 grams]
1/2 cup All Purpose (AP) Flour [60 grams]
1/2 tablespoon Baking Powder
1/3 cup Buttermilk [80 ml.]
1/3 cup whole Milk [80 ml]
1 Egg
1/2 tsp Kosher Salt
1/2 to 1 tsp ground Sage
a couple of shakes of Cayenne pepper

TECHNIQUE
In a large mixing bowl, combine the dry ingredients first. In a separate bowl, combine the wet ingredients.

Stir wet ingredients into dry ingredients, taking care not to stir too long. A few lumps are okay.

ASSEMBLY

Make a small pan of Cream Gravy. If you don't know how, go HERE.

Crank up your waffle iron.

When your waffle iron is good and hot, spray generously with canola oil or non-stick spray. Place a piece of Chicken in each square and close the waffle iron tightly.

In a few minutes, open it and see if Chicken looks browned and feels stiff enough that it's cooked through. Remove from the iron and set on a paper towel. Repeat with the remaining Chicken. The Chicken can be made ahead of time up to this point and kept warm in a low oven.

Next, pour some waffle batter into each square and cook per usual practice.

Remove the waffles to a dinner plate. Place the waffled Chicken on each square and slather with Cream Gravy. Serve with crispy Bacon and a good drizzle of Maple Syrup.

Dig in!

Recipe and images courtesy Michael Gebert and Waffleizer

Adapted by L. M. Sorré

Rabbit??

2011-09-03T01:00:00.000-10:00

The Welsh Rarebit

Photo courtesy Pioneer Woman

NO! IT IS NOT A BUNNY!!

There are absolutely no bunnies involved.

The undisputed 'King' of the grilled cheese world, Welsh Rarebit was considered a "lush" Tavern supper, at least in the eighteenth-century. Essentially, Rarebit is a grilled cheese sandwich of silky decadent cheese sauce slathered over rustic wheat breads.

So, what makes this so special, despite being Gomer Pyle's favorite dish?

Nobody knows!

Make up some wild story about Betty Crocker and Charles Dickens and amaze your friends on Rarebit Day.

Welsh Rarebit

(No Bunnies Here!)

Photo courtesy Pioneer Woman

INGREDIENTS

2 tablespoons sweet créme Butter
2 tablespoons All-Purpose (AP) Flour
1 tablespoon Mustard Powder, or to taste
1/2 teaspoon Cayenne, or to taste
3/4 cup strong Dark Beer, like Guinness
2 tablespoons Worcestershire Sauce, or to taste
1 pound (500 g.) Cheddar Cheese, Double Gloucester or other English Cheese, coarsely grated

INGREDIENT NOTE : If you cannot find English cheeses, other good semi-hard cheeses like Comté, Gruyère, Edam, or Fontina work fabulously. Better still, a combination of any of any of these would be fantastic. Use what you like and can find.

4 to 8 pieces lightly toasted, thick cut, Whole Grain Bread

TECHNIQUE
Place the Butter into a saucepan over medium heat and, as it melts, stir in the Flour. Continue to cook, stirring occasionally, until golden brown and very fragrant, about three (3) to five (5) minutes. Stir in the Mustard Powder and Cayenne, then, whisk in the Beer and Worcestershire Sauce.

When the mixture has stopped foaming and is uniform in colour, reduce the heat to very low and add the Cheese, a bit at a time, stirring constantly until everything is silky and smooth.

Remove from the heat and pour into a cereal bowl or ramekin to set. This can be made ahead of time and refrigerated up to this point.

If using immediately, pour the hot mixture mixture thickly on top of the toasted Whole Grain Bread and put under the broiler for thirty (30) seconds or so until bubbly and the edges of the toast are crisp.

Serve immediately.

If serving later, i.e. after the mixture has set, spread the mixture on top of toast and don't be stingy. Place the slathered toast under the broiler or in your convenient 'toast-r-oven'. Who says you can't have rarebit every day!

Darius, the Giant Welsh Rabbit

No Rabbits were harmed in the research of this dish.

Recipe adapted by L. M. Sorré from Fergus Henderson

Pizza Party!

2011-09-02T01:00:00.000-10:00

Kari Schuster really likes her Pizza.

She craves Pizza so much that she decided to create her own Pizza made entirely out of Pizza flavored snack foods!

Using Pizza Supreme Doritos, Pizzalicious Pringles, Pepperidge Farm Flavor Blasted Xplosive Pizza Goldfish crackers, Pepperoni Pizza Combos, and, of course, Pizza Hummus, she painstakingly crafted her bounty into Pizza-liscious nirvana.

According to Ms. Schuster,

"Awesome? Yes.

Healthy? No.

Pizza party in your mouth? Definitely."

Can you top this??

Photos courtesy Kari Schuster

September...

2011-09-01T01:00:00.000-10:00

September First....

Possibly one of the most important days on the calendar.

Today, Wine Season begins.

No further explanation is needed there.

However, the first of September is also the start of Oyster Season!

Why September you may ask?

Well, it's the first month after the spawning season, May through August. The first month with an "R" in it, to prove the old wives tale of not eating Oysters in months that do not have an "R" in it. Wall Street was once paved in Oyster shells, due to their vast abundance in New York harbor and stocks doing a typical upswing after the summer doldrums, but, more importantly, September is time for the Oyster Festival in Galway!

The Swedes won last year with the Irish a close second. So, expect some serious competition this year.

But, what if you don't care for Wine or Oysters?

September also happens to be National Biscuit Month, National Papaya Month, National Mushroom Month, National Potato Month, National Rice Month, and National Chicken Month.

So there! Despite summer being over, September's got something for you...

Al Fresco

2011-08-31T01:00:00.001-10:00

No, I'm not talking about that old third baseman for the Brooklyn Dodgers.

Al Fresco, third from right, with Mussles and Tony Marinara, c.1925
Photo by Al Dente

The last day of August means that summer is coming to a close and what better way to celebrate than by dining al fresco!

Whether it's barbecue, cheese and pâté, or a bag of chips, just about everyone loves to eat outside on a nice day.

Photo Tokyo Times

So, today, grab a sandwich, park yer keester on a park bench, and watch the world go by!

Lunch on the RCA Building

Special thanks to Rootsweb and Art.com.

Why We're Fat Volume 12

2011-08-30T01:00:00.001-10:00

Well, the good folks over at The Kitchn have come up with this...

Lucky Charms® Cereal Ice Cream Sandwiches!!

INGREDIENTS

3 tablespoons Butter
1 package (10 ounces) Mini Marshmallows
1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract
1/2 teaspoon Salt
4 cups Lucky Charms® cereal
1 pint French Vanilla Ice Cream

TECHNIQUE
Heat butter, marshmallows, vanilla, and salt in a large pot set over medium heat. Cook down until melted, about 5 minutes, stirring continuously with a heat-proof spatula. Turn off the heat and pour in the Lucky Charms cereal, and stir with a spatula until evenly coated with marshmallow mixture. The consistency will be very thick and slightly difficult to stir.

Scoop out the Lucky Charm/marshmallow mixture onto a lipped baking pan and press down into the pan, flattening as much as possible. Your hands will be very sticky, but keep pressing down hard to create an even plain of Lucky Charms.

Allow to set/rest for about 5 minutes then cut out circular shapes using a cookie cutter. You can store the "cookies" in a sealed container for a few days at this point.

To serve, smear about 1/4 to 1/3 cup ice cream between two Lucky Charm cookies, creating a sandwich.

Makes 8 to 12 sandwiches, depending on size.

Recipe and photo courtesy The Kitchn.

Who needs "healthy" Rice Crispies® marshmallow treats to keep us fat!