Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Why We're Fat Volume 7

The 50 Fattiest Foods in the United States

The good folks over at have come up with a fabulous gallery of the fattiest foods in all of the United States of America, and, yes, that includes you Alaska and Hawaii.

So, which state do you fit in??

Fattiest Foods From All 50 States

Personally, being from New York City and going to the University of Rochester many moons ago, I take great pride in knowing that our college (i.e. drunk) late night staple made the cut.

Behold :

The Nick Tahou's Cheeseburger Garbage Plate

A sublime construction of macaroni salad (lots of mayo, celery, and carrots, for those so fussy), baked beans, and fried potatoes, topped with two thin hamburger patties, seared to leathery perfection, American White Processed Cheese Food, in an oozy mass, topped, again, with chopped "fresh" onions, and signature "sauce", which constsisted of the entire day's grille scrapings placed into a coffee can and ladled on top, but wait there's more, if you could possibly top this off, some stale "Cuban" bread to mop up all of the "juices".

Add some Tabasco to liven things up, and this was 4;00AM heaven.

The best part of all of this in the wee hours of the AM were the junkies, dealers, and pimps who frequented the establishment; side by side with the local Police Department (at least the cops knew where the crimainals were, because everyone was eating together).

After one of these Garbage Plates, it was next to impossible to get the "aroma" from your breath, clothes, automobile, or, much less, the always festive after effects. Basically, you reeked for two days and no one would go near you. However, your system was cushioned with greasy hangover happiness.

Nick Tahou himself, who founded this creation, passed away a few years ago to much local mourning. He will be missed, however, his gastronomic impact and "restaurant" is the stuff of legend.

Again, this is why we're fat, but with fond, and much younger with cast iron stomach, memories.

Now, for those willing to attempt this, some guy came up with this "homemade" version :

Special Sauce Ingredients:
1 - medium onion, chopped
1 - clove garlic, minced
1 - tbsp. oil
1 - lb. triple-ground beef
1 - cup H2O
1 - can tomato paste
1/2 - tbsp. brown sugar (optional)
1 - tsp. ground black pepper
3/4 - tsp. cayenne pepper
1 - tsp. chili powder
1 1/2 - tsp. paprika
1/2 - tsp. ground cumin
1/2 - tsp. allspice
1/4 - tsp. cinnamon
1/2 - tsp. powdered cloves
1 - tsp. salt (to taste)

Plate Ingredients:
(Cheeseburger Version)

8 - frozen beef patties
8 - slices of white american cheese
4 - cups cold beans
4 - cups macaroni salad
1 - medium onion, diced
4 - cups hash browns, cubed
2 - loaves of fresh Italian bread
40 - generic butter pats
1 - case Genesee beer

Step 1 - Preparing the Special Sauce:
In large skillet, fry chopped onion and garlic in oil until soft.  Add meat, stirring constantly with fork to keep its texture fine.  Once the meat browns, add water and tomato paste.  Simmer 10 minutes.  Add sugar and spices.  Simmer 30 minutes, adding water ,if necessary, to keep it moist but not soupy.  Alternatively, you may use the griddle scrapings from Step 2 for the Secret Sauce (the authentic method).

Step 2 - Preparing the Plate:
First of all, you can substitute any of Nick's other main items in place of the cheeseburger.  These items are hamburger, beef hot dogs (red hots, not white hots - that's Don 'n Bob's), steak, egg, veggies, and fish (plain old whitefish, I believe).  And now onto the Plate.
Take beef patties straight out of freezer and lightly sear on super hot griddle.  Do the same with hash brown cubes.  Melt one slice of cheese on each beef pattie.  Place 1 cup of beans, 1 cup of macaroni salad, and 1 cup of hash browns on a restaurant style paper plate.  Place 2 beef patties on top of the heap, in the center.  Spread mustard and diced onions over the beef patties.  With a ladle, cover the center of the heap with Special Sauce. 

Garnish with bread an butter.

Drink as much Genny beer as you can.

Serves 4.

Recipe and Concept courtesy : The Lynches

I dare ya......

Images courtesy :


The Lynches

BTW, there's still time for this :

Sal's Birdland

But, that's for another time.

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