"Within about a week, I:
- scattered the contents of a large cutting board (green bean ends/scraps) all over the floor;
- managed to procure a third-degree burn on my upper arm from contact with a just-turned-off glass stovetop burner (who forgets that a burner was on within two minutes of shutting it off oneself?);
- nearly burned the house down by spilling coffee grounds all over the very same burner while it was being used (on high) to boil water (though now our house smells like slightly over-roasted coffee beans---worse things could happen);
- scared the cat out of the room by opening a cupboard and causing a small avalanche of plastic measuring cups and coffee brewing instruments...

On the upside, amidst all this chaos I set my personal best record for drop biscuits. Yum."